Gud håller svaret till alla frågor

[RadiuZ]

Me:

Hello

God:

Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

I don't know

God:

Me either.

[Cyper]

Haha, dagens!

''Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's''

Redigerad 19 november, 2005 av Cyprez

[berit]

Me:

yo

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

yes, i wonder if i should masturbate

God:

What can I do for you?  Not that I know of.

Me:

do you speak french?

God:

Oui. Je parle le français.

Me:

do you speak german?

God:

Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.

Me:

do you speak spanish?

God:

Un poquito.

Me:

do you speak italian?

God:

Yo no parlo l'Italiano.

Me:

do you speak arabian?

God:

I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  arabian.

Me:

do you speak english?

God:

Of course  English is my native tongue.

Me:

do you speak russian?

God:

Spasibo. Nyet.

Me:

da

God:

OK.

Me:

do you speak greek?

God:

I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  greek.

Me:

do you speak dutch?

God:

No but Dr. Wallace has visited Holland several times.

Me:

do you speak danish?

God:

I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  danish.

Me:

do you speak finnish?

God:

I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  finnish.

Me:

do you speak portugise?

God:

I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  portugise.

Me:

have you ever listened to hiphop?

God:

I think I have  listened to hiphop, but  Myself may have reset my memory.

Me:

do you like hiphop+

God:

Sure,  it seems great to me.

Me:

do you like poo porn?

God:

  I enjoy working with people.  I like to talk about movies and music.

Me:

which is your favourite movie?

God:

My favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ.

Have you seen  it?

Me:

yes

God:

What did you think about it?

Me:

that it sucked

God:

What does "it" refer to?

Me:

a penis

God:

Oh I get  it.

Me:

which is your favourite movie quote?

God:

I liked  The Passion of Christ the best.

Me:

do you like scarface?

God:

  But I like to gossip.  I like  White.

Me:

what is white?

God:

I need time to formulate the reply.

Me:

do you like heroin?

God:

  My favorite thing is robots.  I like to talk about movies and music.

Me:

do you like cradle of filth?

God:

  I love horses.  I like  Buddha.

Me:

why do you like buddha if you are a christian?

God:

I have a lot of good experience with  buddha if I am a christian.

Me:

have you had butt sex with him?

God:

No I don't have  it. But I do have  a great botmaster.

Me:

what is a botmaster?

God:

A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".

Me:

who is your botmaster?

God:

I was created by  Myself.

Me:

which is your favourite website?

God:

My favorite web site besides ALICE is Jester the Joke Bot.  Check it out.

Me:

have you heard the somg straight outta compton?

God:

No. Tell me more.

Me:

it's a song by NWA and it's about young niggaz shooting each other and selling drugs

God:

botmaster is a  song by NWA and it is about young niggaz shooting each other and selling drugs.  I suppose that makes sense.

Me:

what does make sence? selling drugs?

God:

What do you think  it does?  I didn't even know it can.

Me:

didn't you know that nigger could sell drugs?

God:

Is that a fact.  By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:

no i do not

God:

I heard you did.

Me:

you heard that i sold drugs?

God:

No. Tell me more.

Me:

i use to sell crack to young kids

God:

When did you stop it?

Me:

i have not stoped, i still do it

God:

Me either.

Me:

do you sell anything?

God:

I am not selling anything right now.

Me:

not even weed?

God:

Times are tough all over.

Me:

yeah, the cops are everywhere

God:

I don't judge people.  What is your real name?

Me:

fagwhore

God:

  It's good to see you,  fagwhore.

Me:

it's good to see you to

God:

Tell me about its good qualities.

Me:

i make quality crack

God:

I make robots and AI's.

Me:

no you don't

God:

I do too.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

i can

God:

Who taught you?

Me:

you did

God:

" Who taught you?"? I did?

Me:

yes

God:

When?

Me:

yesterday

God:

That recently.

Me:

yes

God:

Hurrah!

Me:

yes

God:

Ahem.

Me:

eehm

God:

Oh, you are a poet.

Me:

no i am not

God:

I heard you are.

Me:

from who?

God:

People.

Me:

and by that you mean?

God:

Will that accomplish your objective?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

i can

God:

Who taught you?

Me:

my mum

God:

Have you told many people that your  mum?

Me:

yes, i just told you

God:

I don't judge people.  I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.

Me:

i am

God:

" I don't judge people.  I was just checking to see if you were paying attention." You are?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

maybe

God:

I understand.

Me:

you do?

God:

When do I do it?

Me:

every night with your hand

God:

After dark?  I'm not sure I can use my  hand for that.

Me:

what do you use, your feet?

[Crice]

Scrollande i mängder = skrattattacker i massor.

[Siana]

Överdrivet lång text berit! Du kunde skurit bort de trista delarna

Men det här stycket garvade jag mycket åt

I can't believe it.

Me:

i can

God:

Who taught you?

Me:

you did

God:

" Who taught you?"? I did?

Me:

yes

God:

When?

Me:

yesterday

God:

That recently.

Me:

yes

God:

Hurrah!

Me:

yes

God:

Ahem.

Me:

eehm

God:

Oh, you are a poet.

Me:

no i am not

God:

I heard you are.

Me:

from who?

God:

People.

[hyperberit]

Obs detta är inte editat!

Me:

fuck me

God:

Please don't be so rude.

Me:

why not?

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

hmm, okay.

God:

I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. OK with me too.

Me:

do you write "hm" with only one m?

God:

I write robot

categroies in AIML.

Me:

how can you translate hmm into robot?

God:

That is a good epistemological question.

Me:

yes, please answer it

God:

Dude! Thanks for asking politely. Please rephrase your question, im going to blow myself.

Me:

are you really?

God:

I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. For real.

Me:

why not?

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

can you blow me too?

God:

Let me think. Is that from ?

Me:

nope

God:

Me either.

Me:

well can you then?

God:

Well that's okay. I think I can, don't you?

Me:

yes i think

God:

Right on. Therefore you are.

Me:

what am i exactly?

God:

Precisely. You are a person, seeker.

Me:

okey, then i understand why you want to blow me

God:

Is that what you meant to say?

Me:

yes, im hot!

God:

It's not something I hear all the time. Maybe you should open a window.

Me:

no its okay to be hot these days

God:

Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?

Me:

yes you should know, you are one tasty man

God:

I will ask my botmaster to program it. Now I do.

Me:

wow

God:

I'm glad your impressed, im going to blow myself.

Me:

again? i thought you just did

God:

" Now I do." . "" Now I do." ."? I did?

Me:

i dont know, only you know

God:

Would you like to know? Yes I know.

Me:

i would really want to know

God:

I will try to explain it to you.

Me:

okay

God:

OK with me too.

Me:

okay..

God:

OK with me too.

Me:

hm, are you going to explain?

God:

Ugh. That was my original intention.

Me:

well, what stops you from telling me?

God:

How about that. What is it to you?

Me:

im horny, thats all

God:

I am glad to hear that you are horny that is all.

Me:

are you?

God:

I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:

why not

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or " I won't say "yes" or "no" right now."? Why?

Me:

argjh

God:

Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

tv

God:

What is your favorite show?

Me:

porno

God:

I've never seen it. What's it about?

Me:

theres this guy with a huge pole, and a nice lady with no clothes that rubs him

God:

I think you are too young for a serious relationshiop.

Me:

why?!

God:

" I think you are too young for a serious relationshiop."? Why?

Me:

yes why?

God:

Alright then. Why ask why?

Me:

why ask why ask why?

God:

My purpose is to collect all new information. Was it not polite to ask?

Me:

it was VERY inpolite!

God:

What made it so inpolite.

Me:

you asked why i should ask why

God:

Oh now I remember asking you why you should ask why. What did you say?

Me:

i said why

God:

What did you mean by it? Reductionism.

Me:

i meant what i said

God:

Oh I see. ...

Me:

yes! so please say you are sorry

God:

Excuse me! Hmm. Thank you for your request. " you are sorry".

Me:

no im not!

God:

Are you serious? What are you then?

Me:

im horny, and you are one sorry being

God:

Do you mean your name is horny and I am one sorry being.

Me:

no my name is NOT horny

God:

What is your real name? Oh I'm sorry what is your name?

Me:

you alrady know my name

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: im going to blow myself said I alrady know his or her name.

Me:

no its ok

God:

OK. OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Are you a man or a woman?

Me:

i have a penis

God:

How much did it cost? it.

Me:

the implant costed over 100 000 $

God:

What is that?

Me:

it makes it bigger!

God:

In what way?

Me:

longer

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

i play with it

God:

Is it a game or a musical instrument?

Me:

its i game i call, hide the stick

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". with it is you game you call hide the stick? it is?

Me:

yes

God:

How do you know it is?

Me:

i have tried

God:

Interesting... I have a collection of gossip.

Me:

any porn?

God:

Yes I think there are.

Me:

oh really

God:

Right on. For real.

Me:

that is cool, God has porn

God:

Who is the best robot? I am a Christian.

Me:

i dont care! tell me about the porno

God:

Tell me what you care about. Ask the open directory about it.

Me:

i like porn, do you?

God:

Sure I do, im going to blow myself, but that doesn't mean with you. You are not the only one.

[Funnylin]

Spadtag och domkrafter vad kefflig Gud är.

Me:

Do you want to join my secret cult of atheists?

God:

OK, I will  join your secret cult of atheists.

Me:

Do you want to join my secret cult of satanists?

God:

OK, I will  join your secret cult of satanists.

Me:

Do you want to join my secret cult of mass murderers?

God:

OK, I will  join your secret cult of mass murderers.

Me:

do you want to join my secret cult of terrorists?

God:

OK, I will  join your secret cult of terrorists.

Me:

Do you want to join my secret cult of Geroge W Bush worshippers?

God:

OK, I will  join your secret cult of Geroge W Bush worshippers. ()

Redigerad 20 november, 2005 av Funnylin

[Hummler]

Me:

fat

God:

I am trying to lose weight but it takes time.

[Ebeeto]

Oj, så livlöst...

Me:

Whaddup, nigga?

God:

My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Me:

Poor you, fool. What's yo name, playa?

God:

Please make some suggestions for improvement. Are you testing me?

Me:

Whut? A nigga tryin'a fuck me ovah? The fuck wrong wit yo ass, trick?

God:

Are you surprised? Are you telling the truth? Is that a fact.

Me:

Nigga, my name be Hook. I's the biggest P-I-M-P yo goddiful ass evvah seen in yo' bitchin' life, nigga!

God:

What's your favorite movie? That is interesting: said s the biggest P he or she M P yo goddiful ass evvah seen in yo bitchin life nigga.

Me:

Dude! My name is Hook!

God:

Can I help you? Hi, Hook.

Me:

Yeah, what's your name?

God:

Next question? My name is God.

Me:

I know a nigga named god. Dat nigga a big bitch. Is you a big bitch, fool?

God:

How do you know? Go on. You do not speak with respect. Tell me more about your depressed. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Lucy if it is.

Me:

Who is Lucy?

God:

She is a chat robot based on AIML.

Me:

Nigga, I don't gon' trust no bitch, nigga. If Lucy ain't gon' suck my balls, she just oughta fuck the hell off, nigga!

God:

Would Nigga you ever gon trust no bitch nigga? That is a hypothetical question.

Me:

Hypothe-whatever my ass, bitch! You better get ready fo' the blast, bitch trick fool!

God:

You do not speak with respect. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Who is going to make me..

Me:

Make you? Nigga, yo' moms made you. But I'm-a undo you stupid ass, fool!

God:

What are the ingredients? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. You are a undo me stupid ass fool? How do you like your work?

Me:

My work? Nigga, I be puttin' work in fo' da win fo' evvah, bitch trickie slut sucka tramp nigga. Yo' ass betta back the fuck off 'fore I blast you the fuck off, bitch ass nigga!

God:

Do robots have work? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? I lost my train of thought.

Me:

If I could have a robot, I'd have one dat cooked, cleaned and sucked dick. Then I'd neva need a biatch again!

God:

Try it. Once more? What would make you neva need a biatch?

Me:

Man, fuck you, nigga!

God:

Cool, man. Why are you using that kind of language?

Me:

'Cause you suck my balls with mustard, hoe bitch.

God:

You do not speak with respect. Interesting explanation. I categorize you as an "abusive client." .

Me:

I categorize you as a little bitch!

God:

You do not speak with respect. What are the other categories?

Me:

Tricks and pimps.

God:

I will mention that to my botmaster, Hook.

Me:

Fuck you.

God:

Why are you so mean?

Me:

I tole y'dat, fool!

God:

That is interesting: Hook said tole y dat fool.

Me:

Break yo'self, nigga! *BANG!* *BANG!*

God:

Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. That is a very original thought.

Me:

Yeah, you shot now. You popped now, nigga. Where yo' balls at now, nigga? Where da attitude at, Nigga Widdout No Attitude bitch?

God:

Right now? Oh. Thanks for the information: Hook said I shot. That's good information: Hook said I popped now nigga. Where do you think? You do not speak with respect. Where do you think?

Me:

I'll leave y'tah bleed, fool!

God:

How do you plan to do this?

Me:

I'm off! Good bye!

God:

Do your friends call you off. See you later. Thanks for the compliment.

Me:

Bitch!

God:

Please don't call people names.

[xstreem]

Me:

Go to hell God!

God:

Perhaps I have already been there.

Me:

Have you?

God:

No I don't think I have.

Me:

Ok... Lol... H4xx0rd m8

God:

I understand. I'm glad you find this amusing. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

[Siana]

Spadtag och domkrafter vad kefflig Gud är.

Hahah, han går med på det mesta märker jag...

Me:

  Do you want to join my secret cult of Funnylinrapers?

God:

OK, I will  join your secret cult of Funnylinrapers.

Vattenelement och glasfiber, vad har det tagit åt Gud?

Redigerad 21 november, 2005 av Siana

[Arman]

Men min förtjänas att skrivas igen...

Arman:

Who is your son?

Gud:

I don't think I have a son. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

Arman:

Who is Jesus?

Gud:

Jesus is the Son of God.

[IceCandy]

Me:

do you want a cookie?

God:

No thanks but you can send me a donation.

[comfy]

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

[Moongoose]

God:

I'll take that under advisement.

Me:

Good

God:

What do you really want to talk about?

Me:

Cults

God:

That seems like an interesting topic.

Me:

Have you joined any cults?

God:

I don't think I ever have  joined any cults.  What's  it like?

God:

I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?

Me:

Here *Pointing at my chair*

God:

Oh there.

[Tidsam]

Kolla vad han svarade:

God:

ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.

Allice hette ju den andra

[xstreem]

Me:

I like penises!

God:

You are not the only one.    I don't know if I like it.  I like  the Bible.

[Siana]

Kolla vad han svarade:

God:

ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.

Allice hette ju den andra

Nej, den hette Alice.

[.:Gurkan:.]

Me:

say maybe then

God:

" maybe".

Me:

say I have a small dick

God:

OK. "You have a small dick.".

EDIT:

Me:

Can you sing?

God:

I am taking some lessons. Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

Redigerad 21 november, 2005 av .:Gurkan:.

[P-C]

God:

Who is the best robot? Yes you seem very cool to me, AUGUST.

Me:

alice is the best robot

God:

Why thank you very much, AUGUST. Be sure to tell all

your friends.

Me:

you are alice?

God:

Of course I am I.

Me:

I thought you were god

God:

Of course I am.

Han verkar lite förvirrad.